Tag: gift
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Is that fucker a human?
They need: The best Shiatsu neck massager! This gift reco comes from my friend Leisha at Common Compass, who bought it for her entire family and sold me on it too! We firmly believe that if you’re a human, then you need a Shiatsu neck massager. That’s facts. [Also it plugs into your car —…
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Does that fucker have a dishwasher?
They need: A clean/dirty magnet! This is the one I bought for us seven years ago and I love it. Clean, minimalist, black/white. I have seen many variations on this type of magnet, but I enjoy the simplicity of this one most. Great stocking stuffer for any practical fuckers with dishwashers on your list!
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Does that fucker have kids?
They need: Local Canadian-made solid-wood toys (and I have a discount code for you!) Thorpe Toys is a Canadian success story. They’ve been hand-making very affordable solid-wood toys for decades, and the owners are absolutely lovely. They offered a downtown Toronto pickup spot near Allan Gardens during Covid, so definitely worth checking to see if…
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Does that fucker like collecting things?
They need: Fancy gemstones to kick-start their nature/rock collection! First off, this company is a Canadian small business! #ShopLocal for the win! So in our household, this present did double duty: They fit into our advent calendar slots while adding to my son’s nature/rock collection. (His collection was only made up of a feather from…
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Does that fucker love to read?
They need an: LED reading light that goes around their neck! This gift was SUCH a hit when I bought it for my mom, and then she bought me one too and I love it! It has a velvety-smooth patch so that it feels nice on your neck, and it has three different brightness settings…
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Does that fucker want to level up their sleep/hair/skin game?
They need a: Satin pillowcase! I was blown away by how soft these are; you always hear about silk pillowcases but oh my goodness these satin ones are INCREDIBLY SOFT! I bought two of these in the blush colour for my nieces, but there are some pretty cool prints and colours available as well. I’m…
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Do you have *way too many fuckers* of all ages and sizes to buy for?
Then you need: A fuck-ton of interactive glow-in-the-dark t-shirts! I am buying ENTIRE FAMILIES these cool shirts. One branch of our family tree has FIVE KIDS and two adults. That’s *seven* fuckers! Use your cellphone light to draw on it in the dark (although it does come with a light pen. I’m also told laser…
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Is that fucker a teenager?
They need a: Portable mini fridge! Be a cool relative / friend / total hero with this gift! I bought the pink one and the blue one for each of my teenaged nieces. They like to keep their makeup in it (who knew?! It’s a thing!), plus a couple cans of pop and a snack.…
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Is that fucker your friend?
They need a: Tribe friendship necklace! Show that fucker they are part of your tribe! Available in 14k gold or silver.
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Does that fucker love wine and science?
They need a: Scientifically-hilarious Stemless Wine Glass! 😂 Enough said! Also fun for those who appreciate a pun.
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Does that fucker love pool (or billiards, or whatever the fuck it’s called)?
They need a: Responsive Billiards Projector! Play billiards under the sea! In the cosmos! Put on game modes for fun or training modes to level-up your billiards game. This is responsive interactive augmented reality, not just a plain old projector. But be warned that it’s pretty expensive and has some requirements, like optimal cieling height…
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Does that fucker have a young kid who doesn’t understand bodies?
They need: The Body Book! I bought this because all in one week my kid slapped a preschool parent’s ass AND mislabeled my “boob” as my “stomach” (to be fair, there isn’t much delineation there these days LOL). Don’t wait until their kid (or yours) is slapping asses and mislabeling body parts. Get it now!…
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Does that fucker have a kid?
They need a: Sleep Sack! Before I was a parent I had NO CLUE what a sleep sack was. But now I swear by them!
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Does that fucker need to relax?
They need a: Copper Head Massager! I bought like 15 of these as Christmas gifts. They were a hit! Pro tip: Try it on your kneecaps. Sounds weird, but you’re welcome!
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Does that fucker love reading?
They need a: Portable “Book Nook”! This reading valet is great on a windowsill, on a night table, or in a hotel! Gift it alongside a new book if you need to buy this fucker two things.
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Does that fucker love Lego AND coffee?
They need a: Lego Coffee Cup! No better way for them to start their day! BPA-free; use it for hot and cold beverages!
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Does that fucker snore?
They need an: Anti-snore Smart Pillow! When it detects that fucker snoring, it gently readjusts them while they sleep!
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Did that fucker hit a milestone in their religious life?
They need a: Commemorative Necklace! I am going to hell for calling them a “fucker”, but I say it with love: A family member bought this as a first communion gift for a tween boy. The back is inscribed with “Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you…