Tag: Christmas
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Does that fucker have a dishwasher?
They need: A clean/dirty magnet! This is the one I bought for us seven years ago and I love it. Clean, minimalist, black/white. I have seen many variations on this type of magnet, but I enjoy the simplicity of this one most. Great stocking stuffer for any practical fuckers with dishwashers on your list!
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Does that fucker have kids?
They need: Local Canadian-made solid-wood toys (and I have a discount code for you!) Thorpe Toys is a Canadian success story. They’ve been hand-making very affordable solid-wood toys for decades, and the owners are absolutely lovely. They offered a downtown Toronto pickup spot near Allan Gardens during Covid, so definitely worth checking to see if…
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Does that fucker like collecting things?
They need: Fancy gemstones to kick-start their nature/rock collection! First off, this company is a Canadian small business! #ShopLocal for the win! So in our household, this present did double duty: They fit into our advent calendar slots while adding to my son’s nature/rock collection. (His collection was only made up of a feather from…
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Does that fucker love to read?
They need an: LED reading light that goes around their neck! This gift was SUCH a hit when I bought it for my mom, and then she bought me one too and I love it! It has a velvety-smooth patch so that it feels nice on your neck, and it has three different brightness settings…
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Does that fucker want to level up their sleep/hair/skin game?
They need a: Satin pillowcase! I was blown away by how soft these are; you always hear about silk pillowcases but oh my goodness these satin ones are INCREDIBLY SOFT! I bought two of these in the blush colour for my nieces, but there are some pretty cool prints and colours available as well. I’m…
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Did that fucker just learn the truth about Santa?
They need: The Secret Society of Saint Nicholas! Know any kids (and their parents) who are heartbroken by “certain terrible information about Santa Claus?” This beautifully-made book from my author friend Katherine North serves as a helpful conduit for discussing the truth about Santa without losing the magic of Christmas. (I have my own copy…
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Is that fucker a teenager?
They need a: Portable mini fridge! Be a cool relative / friend / total hero with this gift! I bought the pink one and the blue one for each of my teenaged nieces. They like to keep their makeup in it (who knew?! It’s a thing!), plus a couple cans of pop and a snack.…
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Does that fucker love pool (or billiards, or whatever the fuck it’s called)?
They need a: Responsive Billiards Projector! Play billiards under the sea! In the cosmos! Put on game modes for fun or training modes to level-up your billiards game. This is responsive interactive augmented reality, not just a plain old projector. But be warned that it’s pretty expensive and has some requirements, like optimal cieling height…
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Does that fucker have a kid and a car?
They need a: Magentic Sun Shade! Just like sleep sacks, file this under “things I never thought I’d need until I became a parent.” Keep the sun out of your kid’s eyes! Makes roadtrips 100% more enjoyable, promise.
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Does that fucker have a kid?
They need a: Sleep Sack! Before I was a parent I had NO CLUE what a sleep sack was. But now I swear by them!
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Does that fucker need to relax?
They need a: Copper Head Massager! I bought like 15 of these as Christmas gifts. They were a hit! Pro tip: Try it on your kneecaps. Sounds weird, but you’re welcome!
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Does that fucker have a kid?
They need a: Dinosaur-embroidered Baseball Cap! Because: DINOSAURS! (My own kid has this hat, as does his friend, and they are obsessed.)
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Does that fucker love reading?
They need a: Portable “Book Nook”! This reading valet is great on a windowsill, on a night table, or in a hotel! Gift it alongside a new book if you need to buy this fucker two things.
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Does that fucker love Lego AND coffee?
They need a: Lego Coffee Cup! No better way for them to start their day! BPA-free; use it for hot and cold beverages!
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Does that fucker love their dirty dog?
They need a: Portable Dog Paw Cleaner! Help them say goodbye to muddy car backseats and pawprints around their home!
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Does that fucker snore?
They need an: Anti-snore Smart Pillow! When it detects that fucker snoring, it gently readjusts them while they sleep!
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Does that fucker have a kid?
They need: A Fuck-ton of AA Batteries! Listen, it’s an underrated addition to a gift! No parent wants to be stuck without batteries during the holiday- or birthday toy-opening blitz. And batteries in existing toys always die right when you’re out of them!