Tag: birthday
-
Is that fucker a teenager?
They need a: Portable mini fridge! Be a cool relative / friend / total hero with this gift! I bought the pink one and the blue one for each of my teenaged nieces. They like to keep their makeup in it (who knew?! It’s a thing!), plus a couple cans of pop and a snack.…
-
Is that fucker your friend?
They need a: Tribe friendship necklace! Show that fucker they are part of your tribe! Available in 14k gold or silver.
-
Does that fucker love jewelry?
They need a:
-
Does that fucker love pool (or billiards, or whatever the fuck it’s called)?
They need a: Responsive Billiards Projector! Play billiards under the sea! In the cosmos! Put on game modes for fun or training modes to level-up your billiards game. This is responsive interactive augmented reality, not just a plain old projector. But be warned that it’s pretty expensive and has some requirements, like optimal cieling height…
-
Does that fucker have a kid and a car?
They need a: Magentic Sun Shade! Just like sleep sacks, file this under “things I never thought I’d need until I became a parent.” Keep the sun out of your kid’s eyes! Makes roadtrips 100% more enjoyable, promise.
-
Does that fucker have a kid?
They need a: Sleep Sack! Before I was a parent I had NO CLUE what a sleep sack was. But now I swear by them!
-
Does that fucker need to relax?
They need a: Copper Head Massager! I bought like 15 of these as Christmas gifts. They were a hit! Pro tip: Try it on your kneecaps. Sounds weird, but you’re welcome!
-
Does that fucker have a kid?
They need a: Dinosaur-embroidered Baseball Cap! Because: DINOSAURS! (My own kid has this hat, as does his friend, and they are obsessed.)
-
Does that fucker love reading?
They need a: Portable “Book Nook”! This reading valet is great on a windowsill, on a night table, or in a hotel! Gift it alongside a new book if you need to buy this fucker two things.
-
Does that fucker love Lego AND coffee?
They need a: Lego Coffee Cup! No better way for them to start their day! BPA-free; use it for hot and cold beverages!
-
Does that fucker love their dirty dog?
They need a: Portable Dog Paw Cleaner! Help them say goodbye to muddy car backseats and pawprints around their home!
-
Does that fucker snore?
They need an: Anti-snore Smart Pillow! When it detects that fucker snoring, it gently readjusts them while they sleep!
-
Does that fucker have a kid?
They need: A Fuck-ton of AA Batteries! Listen, it’s an underrated addition to a gift! No parent wants to be stuck without batteries during the holiday- or birthday toy-opening blitz. And batteries in existing toys always die right when you’re out of them!