Category: Kids
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Does that fucker have kids over the age of 4?
They need a: Cardboard box construction tool! Recycle old cardboard boxes while the kids have hours of fun! Also a great way to make a lemonade stand; they’ll pay back the cost of the tool in no time. 😉 There are several tiers and some can get quite pricey, but the Explore kit, linked above,…
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Does that fucker have kids over the age of 5?
They need a: Build-your-own-fort kit! This gift idea came via my friend Wendy, who bought it for her nephew and it was a hit! Grab an old sheet to drape over it and get all the fun of forts without damage to your furniture and chaos in your living space. Take it outside for extra…
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Does that fucker love fidget toys?
They need: Flow rings! I got mine for my son from Mastermind Toys. But when I tried searching them, they didn’t show up, so maybe they are no longer sold there. I found the exact same ones on Amazon and they come in a two pack. The funnest way we like to use them is…
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Does that fucker have kids over the age of 3?
They need: A fruit and veggie electricity kit! That’s my son! ^ This was so easy to use and he loves it. There is a small red light and a clock included so that when you hook it all up, the fruit and veggies become batteries that power them! Just make sure you are using…
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Does that fucker have kids?
They need: Local Canadian-made solid-wood toys (and I have a discount code for you!) Thorpe Toys is a Canadian success story. They’ve been hand-making very affordable solid-wood toys for decades, and the owners are absolutely lovely. They offered a downtown Toronto pickup spot near Allan Gardens during Covid, so definitely worth checking to see if…
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Does that fucker like collecting things?
They need: Fancy gemstones to kick-start their nature/rock collection! First off, this company is a Canadian small business! #ShopLocal for the win! So in our household, this present did double duty: They fit into our advent calendar slots while adding to my son’s nature/rock collection. (His collection was only made up of a feather from…
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Do you have *way too many fuckers* of all ages and sizes to buy for?
Then you need: A fuck-ton of interactive glow-in-the-dark t-shirts! I am buying ENTIRE FAMILIES these cool shirts. One branch of our family tree has FIVE KIDS and two adults. That’s *seven* fuckers! Use your cellphone light to draw on it in the dark (although it does come with a light pen. I’m also told laser…
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Did that fucker just learn the truth about Santa?
They need: The Secret Society of Saint Nicholas! Know any kids (and their parents) who are heartbroken by “certain terrible information about Santa Claus?” This beautifully-made book from my author friend Katherine North serves as a helpful conduit for discussing the truth about Santa without losing the magic of Christmas. (I have my own copy…
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Is that fucker a teenager?
They need a: Portable mini fridge! Be a cool relative / friend / total hero with this gift! I bought the pink one and the blue one for each of my teenaged nieces. They like to keep their makeup in it (who knew?! It’s a thing!), plus a couple cans of pop and a snack.…
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Does that fucker have a young kid who doesn’t understand bodies?
They need: The Body Book! I bought this because all in one week my kid slapped a preschool parent’s ass AND mislabeled my “boob” as my “stomach” (to be fair, there isn’t much delineation there these days LOL). Don’t wait until their kid (or yours) is slapping asses and mislabeling body parts. Get it now!…
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Does that fucker have a kid and a car?
They need a: Magentic Sun Shade! Just like sleep sacks, file this under “things I never thought I’d need until I became a parent.” Keep the sun out of your kid’s eyes! Makes roadtrips 100% more enjoyable, promise.
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Does that fucker have a kid?
They need a: Sleep Sack! Before I was a parent I had NO CLUE what a sleep sack was. But now I swear by them!
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Does that fucker have a kid?
They need a: Dinosaur-embroidered Baseball Cap! Because: DINOSAURS! (My own kid has this hat, as does his friend, and they are obsessed.)
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Does that fucker have a kid?
They need: A Fuck-ton of AA Batteries! Listen, it’s an underrated addition to a gift! No parent wants to be stuck without batteries while their kids open their holiday or birthday presents.